I've been thinking, have you walked down the toy aisle lately? Have you thought about how many toys "do something" and how many just "are something"?

I was thinking about it recently. And it kind of seems to me that a lot of what we have bought for Eli is designed to "do something". We buy toys because of what they can do, and Eli enjoys the toys because of what they do.

And, perhaps, by accident, we are training him, and ourselves, to value things, even love things, not because of what they are, but because of what they do. And perhaps it has had it's effect on our perspective.

Why else would we be tempted to believe that some people are of higher value than others? Why is it so easy to believe that someone quite content to live off welfare for the entirity of their life is not as worthy of love, respect, or consideration as ourselves? Why is it so easy to criticise people who have failed? Why are we so interested in news articles about the latest fallen politician? Could it be because, like our toys, we want our people to "do something". We find their value in what they can do, not who they are.

I don't know. I highly doubt that I can convince Eli that playing with a rock will be good for his future world view, but the thought is probably a good one for me to ponder for a while.

I mean, how often do I feel unworthy of God's love because I can't see how I am "doing" anything worthwhile with my life? I need to re-evaluate where my view on the value of a human life comes from. If I feel that I can lose my value in God's eyes because I am a failure, then I am accusing the God whose "Loving-kindness endures forever" of being like a fickle-minded child who would only want a toy that "does something". I am so glad that my flawed view of God does not change who He truly is. I praise Him for being the God who chooses sinners and tells us that His strength is made PERFECT in our weakness!

And, a song that says it better... by J. J. Heller

I live in a fascinating town! The night before last I broke a tooth. The next morning I went down two doors to the dentist's office, without any appointment, spoke briefly with the dentist, her mother-in-law, and her adorable little daughter. The dentist looked at my tooth, sat me in a room, and then, fifteen minutes later I walked back home with my tooth fixed temporarily and an appointment for a permenant fix later.

So, I was reading about the gifts of the Spirit tonight in 1 Corinthians 12:4-11. And, having heard a ton of people talking about spiritual gifts over the years, I started to think about what they had said and wonder which spiritual gift might be mine...

I got to verse 9, where it mentions faith and couldn't really remember anyone I knew who claimed to have the gift of faith. And, of course, I turned introspective for a moment and thought, "Do I have the spiritual gift of faith???... Eh, I don't know, I doubt it."

And that kind of answered that for me.

But anyway, to be serious for a moment, a lot of times in church or youth group or camp meetings or Christian publications, the discussion of spiritual gifts has always seemed a bit...odd to me.

First of all, I was made a little bit leery the first time I saw a quiz that would tell me which spiritual gift I had. It seemed WAY too similar to the kinds of quizzes in magazines for junior-high girls which promise to tell you which celebrity you will marry when you grow up or how good of a kisser you are.

Second, it seems just a little too focused on self and not on glorifying God or loving those around you. I heard a lot of "where do you feel more comfortable serving..." and "what makes you happiest..." and "what are you good at..."

Honestly, if it truly is the Spirit imparting these gifts on us, it will likely not be in areas where we are comfortable or capable on our own. He will take our weaknesses and make those into strengths in his own name right? And He will probably not give us one main thing to focus on and obsess over.

I think He would probably much rather that we stop looking for our "own area of gifted-ness" and spend more time looking at the lives of those around us and praising Him for giving them gifts in areas where they could not possibly have excelled on their own and allowing them to see the same things in us.

Anyway, I haven't studied the matter really. These are just amateur, and uneducated thoughts...not to be taken as more than just thoughts. I think I will try to learn a little about the subject now though.

It's 2:33 AM.

I have a question for you: WHAT is drier than the Saharra desert?

Answer: The batch of donuts I am deep frying right now.

I'm not really sure what went wrong, but deciding to make donuts at 2:30 AM might have been half of the problem.

Hungry? Bring several gallons of water and come on over.

In other news, I am going to buy some Clarifying shampoo. I should start making more sense in a week or two.

We had such wonderful weather today! It was somewhere around 50 I think! Eli and I walked to the post office, and then it was just too nice to go back home so we headed to the park also.

The park we go to is on the top of one of the higher hills near us, and although it is only a very short walk from our house, the view there makes you feel like you have journeyed to a different world! The sky surrounds you on everyside and you can see for miles! The horizon is decorated with distant hills and the rolling mountains of Pennsylvania's "Endless Mountains" region. There seldom are other visitors at the park when we are there, so it is usually an unbelievably quiet, peaceful place to be.

Today I climbed on a swing and remembered again just how much I love swinging! There is just something about it...pushing with all of your might and propelling yourself as high as you can and as fast as you can and looking up as the wind blows your hair back and seeing nothing but the clouds above you! That feeling, that moment, stirs in me the deepest of emotions! It seems to dare ANYTHING at all to distract me. It seems like, in that moment, my Heavenly Father reaches down and cups my face in His hands and gently draws me to focus on Him.

I know, I know, it is just a simple childish amusement in the local park, but to me, there is just something about the soaring and dipping and soaring again that just seems to make all the problems that boggle my mind sort themselves out. It gives me a new perspective and a chance to see beyond the little things that tend to grow bigger than they should in my mind. It gives me a glimpse of joy and makes my heart want to sing. It fills me with wonder at the fact that God would chose to redeem me and know me and speak with me and allow me to know Him. It washes away earth and puts heaven before my eyes in a way that makes me see nothing else.

It has been that way for as long as I can remember. If I think back on difficult days, conundrums, disappointments, and cunfusions in my life, the memory of those moments in bound tightly to the memory of an hour or two spent on a swing, pouring out my heart to a God who listens, cares, and understands. And He is not silent in those moments. I have never been very good at listening to Him, but something about the wind and the beauty and the height...it lets me glimpse just enough of His presence to close my mouth and hear Him.

So, today I thank God for swingsets, and the miniature theophanies that occur there.

I keep writing letters to friends in China.

But the damp cloths they send me are

always dried out by the time they get here.

Guess I'll never be able to clean my shower curtain.

Oh well.

Would you like to know one of my favorite things?

Well, this is my blog, so I'm going to tell you anyway.

Have you ever been folding laundry and looked down at the basket and found a sock sitting there, right next to its match?

It's kind of like God smiled down and decided to give you a small gift to remind you of His love.